I have been there, stuck & held down in unbearable darkness; successful career, education, & all outer appearances looked golden. My brother was killed when I was 17, a month before I gave birth in my Sr. year, he was 15. The next year, we had a second child who was born w/hypoplastic right heart syndrome, three open heart surgeries, passed away at 2 months & 26 days. Later, in years our daughter was struck by two vehicles at 10 yrs old, because she didn’t take the school bus, she attempted to walk home; broke her leg (plate & 4 pins) 5 broken ribs, head trauma, then at 13 yrs old she was diagnosed w/stage 3 lymphoma cancer; we had 10 minutes to decide on a traditional treatment that could lead to another form of a cancer later w/ radiation or an 5 yr experimental treatment for children 3 times the does of chemo no radiation. Then, at 2015 after countless ER in 3 states and hospitals 30 or more MRIs, being poked and probed from physician to specialized no one could find answers until my left lung was collapsing from pneumonia; I was happy to be diagnosed after decades off pain..immense pain from Lupus SLE, fibromyalgia, raynaud’s & sjogren’s syndrome. Then, dealing w/ two daughters that were on drugs and alcohol since they were 16 and now 35 and 31.
I was so tired of the mental pain of trying to save my daughters from themselves, I didn’t realized that I was playing their God, thinking I can save them, I was ready to take my life. Peaches Royale and Tasha K, changed my with life, with their humanity, time, and kindness. God has his angels, I am for grateful to them for being my keeper.
Please give yourself a chance to live this life, your life ca be beautiful. I lost a child, and almost lost another twice; I know my son and brother souls are in light; which allows my to live a life to make them proud. I had to change the people I allow in my my life on this earth, these are the ones that can destroy you; they can drive your journey to light or darkness. Please gives yourself a chance to enjoy the light on earth.
Commented on post was deleted
05 Oct 15:43
I have been there, stuck & held down in unbearable darkness; successful career, education, & all outer appearances looked golden. My brother was killed when I was 17, a month before I gave birth in my Sr. year, he was 15. The next year, we had a second child who was born w/hypoplastic right heart syndrome, three open heart surgeries, passed away at 2 months & 26 days. Later, in years our daughter was struck by two vehicles at 10 yrs old, because she didn’t take the school bus, she attempted to walk home; broke her leg (plate & 4 pins) 5 broken ribs, head trauma, then at 13 yrs old she was diagnosed w/stage 3 lymphoma cancer; we had 10 minutes to decide on a traditional treatment that could lead to another form of a cancer later w/ radiation or an 5 yr experimental treatment for children 3 times the does of chemo no radiation. Then, at 2015 after countless ER in 3 states and hospitals 30 or more MRIs, being poked and probed from physician to specialized no one could find answers until my left lung was collapsing from pneumonia; I was happy to be diagnosed after decades off pain..immense pain from Lupus SLE, fibromyalgia, raynaud’s & sjogren’s syndrome. Then, dealing w/ two daughters that were on drugs and alcohol since they were 16 and now 35 and 31.
I was so tired of the mental pain of trying to save my daughters from themselves, I didn’t realized that I was playing their God, thinking I can save them, I was ready to take my life. Peaches Royale and Tasha K, changed my with life, with their humanity, time, and kindness. God has his angels, I am for grateful to them for being my keeper.
Please give yourself a chance to live this life, your life ca be beautiful. I lost a child, and almost lost another twice; I know my son and brother souls are in light; which allows my to live a life to make them proud. I had to change the people I allow in my my life on this earth, these are the ones that can destroy you; they can drive your journey to light or darkness. Please gives yourself a chance to enjoy the light on earth.